Posts tagged ‘Football’
So tomorrow is the #BSM5aside football tournament, and it’s been a busy summer in the transfer market for Alcopop! Out have been former ever presents Darren Gillick (to moving into a house with his missus – FREE TRANSFER) and treacherous Leigh ‘Nedry out of Jurassic Park’ Shorter (Bag of balls to BSM), whilst former favourite Tom Elephants has retired from the circuit (for now at least). We will miss them all, apart from Leigh, who was last seen chuckling at the foot of a crucifix whilst juggling a bag of silver coins from hand to hand – and stamping on the head of a kitten.
But – while these dears have departed – 5 hardy heros still remain. Paul McManus (skipper), Thom Day (cat like goalkeeper), Matt Emery (champ), Andy Hoatson (the people’s choice) and Jack PoP (me) form the backbone of the squad… With 3 epic new signings. Please welcome
Mike ‘GOALZ’ Wilkinson: A former star of the Swansea University side that saw Jack PoP dominate the intermural leagues – Mike has a problem. He can’t stop scoring goals… Now resident in Blackpool and scourge of the local chicken shops he is a prestigious talent, once having a trial with Hucknall Town – and, PoP fans will be pleased to note, is now fully vaccinated against Tetanus since Wednesday
Michael ‘Cyril’ Williams: Handsome of face, and usually seen gracing the stage with Jumping Ships – Swansea fan Michael (spotting a theme here) is a hot young property in the 5 a side, and we’re proud to have him. Diminutive in stature but big of heart, he should be at peak physical fitness after spending all day yesterday vomiting. No longer a shred of ill health in his body. Winner
Ross ‘Swanny’ K Witt: Famous for his lovely voice and getting into all sorts of vicious scrapes with the general public, Swanny may have a lovely friendly attitude most of the time – but don’t get him angry! Widely vilified in the BSM camp after he shattered head honcho Kev’s arm at End of the Road festival, and well feared in bars across Oxford – Ross is My First Tooth, and now Alcopop FC’s, champion!
Lets go Team POP!!
Or something like that… i had the great pleasure of meeting England’s third highest scorer of all time – and he was lovely enough to record this (hilariously cheeky) trail for the good ship Alcopop. Watch, love and realise how ace he is – then do as he says!
The bleak midwinter is a dangerous place to be… Especially if you’re a Luton Town supporting snowman!
July is a coming, and like a magpie drawn to the shimmering beads of sweat cascading down the head of a once promising footballer, now ravaged by years of booze and late nights spent in filthy tour busses – otherwise respectable folk from across the music industry have caught the eye of the BSM 5-a-side football tournament. Not least at Alcopop Records!
After taking two strong squads to second place in first round groups in the last two years, we’re determined that this is our time – and from trials of 1000s have selected a fine squad from across the country. Front Magazine and their cheerleaders are going to be present, so handsome looks are of course assured – along with football talent in spades. Below is the squad – and introductions to the first of the intrepid four. 5 – 8 will come tomorrow.
1.) Thom ‘Cat’ – as agile as he is facially magnificent, Thom has represented Team PoP at both of the last 2 tournaments, conceding just 3 in 3 last year – as Alcopop bundled in 10 at the other end. Standing somewhere between Bruce Grobbelar and Dimitri Kharine in flair and style, his compact form is ideal for 5-a-side. Currently banned by the Oxfordshire FA from all competitive matches in the county.
2.) Matt ‘Coach’ – Drummer in good friends of Alcopop, and Alcopopular 3 hero’s, Stagecoach – Matt may not have played for a year or two – but has fine pedigree in his formative years. Regularly stepping out for Horsham U16’s, he gave up the dream of premiership football for his love of music (and booze perhaps), and has the touch of a professional… As well as being facially magnificent.
3.) Jack PoP – Me, and despite plenty better options I’ve named myself in the squad again (how arrogant). Former Allesley Ace U14 top scorer in the 95-96 season, and Cub Scout Football winner ’94, I went on to ply my trade for University Inter-Mural championship contending team ‘Little Donkey’ as an ever present centre back. Never, ever, even CLOSE to professional trials.
4.) Manus – Skipper, boss, champ and Team PoP legend, Manus is the fire that never stops burning. Now entering his third year of captaining the side, his fitness, finishing and passion is quite phenomenal and has led to a hatful of goals in the Alcopop shirt. One to watch!
Ah – gambling… Footballs life blood, and no doubt the best way to get through a match when you don’t really support one of the teams playing.
As you may or may not know (I’m never sure whether I explored it on the blog at length) but Alcopop records was first funded through extensive gambling by myself and Kev. Indeed, I still remember almost crashing my car in delight as a £25 bet on Portsmouth beating Charlton came through just as we arrived at End of the Road festival (wining us near on a tonne) – and who can forget the other end of the spectrum – Micah Richards scoring a goal for no hope Man City in the 93rd minute of added on time to salvage them a point against someone or other, losing Alcopoop £40 worth of winnings in the process.
Well – good news for us, and you – if you fancy a flutter – is that Kev has put together some of the finest musical industry minds to pick a bevy of tips for this Saturday’s football that simply can’t fail, and he’s inviting you to get involved too. Talking of setting up a league so that we can see just who has the finest footie knowledge in music – I guarantee your run of the mill tipsters won’t have nothing on us!
Personally, I’ve picked Tranmere, Bristol City and Leicester (for my reasons pop over to the BSM blog) and with insight from Wichita Records, Fear and Records, This is Fake DIY and The Fly – you really can’t lose. Well, having said that you can – because Gareth from Fear and Records has picked Norwich to triumph over Bristol City which as we all know, is dead wrong! Add your own, and you can win “free CDs, gig tickets and a sense of pride that you know more than Mark Lawrenson”.
So the blog has been rather barren over the last couple of days (I’ve been moving house.. Sorry guv) – and anyone stumbling across it, as well as downloading the excellent new free Family machine single, could be forgiven for angrily kicking tumbleweed as they make their way through old posts, wondering where the hell the updates are. Well – here they are!
Firstly – thanks loads to everyone who popped down to Alcopopalooza on Saturday and indulged in a day of booze, bands and burgers. A great time seemed to be had by all, and amongst the piles of BBQ meat, flowing booze and bustling crowd, a fantastic line up of acts rocked us from 4.30pm till very late, with This City, Pavilion, Cut the Blue Wire, Paul Steel and Stars and Sons amongst the many highlights. Look out for Alcopopalooza 2 in, oooh, about a year.
However, It is with sad news that I must bring you news that, unbelievably, Alcopop Records did not (as boldly predicted on these here pages) triumph in Sundays BSM 5-a-side tournament, despite a series of epic performances. Making our way through the tropical heat of Wormwood Scrubs, London, Alcopop’s brave and hardy soldiers – myself, Thom, Manus, Si, Leigh and grandson of legendary Scotland and Rangers forward Torry Gillick Darren (pictured doing his best Gattuso impression amongst the hands-on-the-hips gang below) – took to the field in a tough looking Group D.
Battering Banquet Records 5-0 in what can best be described as total football, we went on to draw 2-2 with the very energetic Rolo Tomassi, and topped it all off with a morale-boosting 2-1 victory against Gold Artists (featuring many of Pavilion) coping with wave after wave of attack as our savaged feet blistered in the midday(ish) sun. 7 points and a goal difference of plus 6 was surely enough… But no! And as the now very tired Banquet shower capitulated 9-1 to Rolo Tomassi, the hopes and dreams of Team Pop were shattered, leaving us missing out on making it through by the odd goal.
Congratulations to Punktastic who triumphed…. For more info, head over here to Kev’s BSM blog – or here for the vitriolic Punktastic thread toasting their own victory.
Other than that, my time has been pretty much spent between shifting beds up many stairs, and listening to the new Cut the Blue Wire EP (coming out September time – it’s truly stunning!) So any band wanting to sign their lives away to Alcopop and garner rock star fame and riches (or send us a demo at least), please note the change of address.
Oh – and did anyone notice that Sam Isaac was the ‘Hottest record in the world’ on Zane’s show… Awesome
Just a quick one, but everybody likes a guaranteed winner – and the latest BSM promo is just that. Without a legal licence to accept your hard earned cash on foolish bets, Kev (pictured below) has kindly offered a shiny disc from the extremely hearty BSM back catalogue to any punter who can succesfully predict the winner of the upcoming 5-a-side tournament.
Easy – pop over here, type in the word ‘Alcopop’ and your email address and press send. Win!
Two stages, mega-boozing and around 8 hours of awesome live music, DJs and to herald the summer in true Alcopop style, this ones going to be big! Alcopop would like to cordially invite you to our big ol’ summer bash – ALCOPOPALOOZA – Just as good as its American namesake (ahem), and a whole shed-load cheaper to put together, just take a look at this magnificently rendered poster (featuring alcocroc), and buy tickets here for just £6!
Just in case you hate pictures, you’ll be pleased to know that it features 12 bands and solo artists – including The Xcerts, The Computers, This City, Secondsmile (with their first EVER acoustic set) Pavilion, Cut the Blue Wire, Attika State, Flash Flash Photography, Decades, House of Brothers, Russell Joslin and Sean Clothier. There’s a free BBQ as doors open at 4, and special guest DJs and Alcopop regulars playing an eclectic mix of retro pop, classic 90s indie, electro beats and modern anthems (not forgetting Kev’s ill-advised Nu-Metal hits machine).
Whatsmore, Alcopop will be taking part in the BSM 6-a-side tournament the next day, so anyone who fancies sticking around and watching one of the best footie tournaments to take place… EVER.. is more than welcome.
Sometimes you get a comment on your blog that reaffirms that everything you’re living for is cool, the world is great – and awesome folk who have had an effect on you, and whose contribution to (usually) popular music you know you will take to the grave with you, get involved.
At one high pint in my blogosphere-based life it was Andrew WK who expressed an interest in the good ship Alcopop, another saw Richard Gombault (from Midget) entertain us with an interview. This time however, it’s the turn of Jim Burke – former Collapsed Lung rapper and urban poet of the highest order. Regular readers might remember that Alcopop featured ‘Eat my Goal’ by Collapsed Lung as ‘most underrated song of our time’ – and Lung’s main man has left a massive comment on this very blog. I can barely express quite how excited I am, and although he has something of a vague grudge to bear, it nonetheless ends expressing an ace sentiment.
First with the apologies – Yeah – I admit I used a lyrics site on the net to quote a couple of lines that I wasn’t sure of… And I fu**ed it up! Rather than “the new part team of mum won’t move into ma home, to play sport and to forget to call their mums on the telephone” (que?) – Jim’s reliably informed me it was “The new Party Movement would move into my home, to praise Bob and forget to call their mums on the telephone” which in honesty does make more sense… My bad.
The good news is though – Jim wasn’t too annoyed I’d got it wrong, and went on to say “That said, it’s nice to hear it’s still being appreciated. Enjoy Euro 2008 in the relaxed and carefree fashion that I will be. (Shame we didn’t make it really, I might have made some dosh.)” Damn right – and come on now… Whether we’re watching England take on Germany, or the Austrians flounder against the Czech Republic – this is football baby, and ‘Eat my Goal’ is as appropriate now as it ever was for a big tournament….
So I suggest watching the clip from the chart show beneath (indie top 10 feat CL, Helen Love, Bis and SFA – awesome!), buying it from iTunes immediately, and listening to it before, and after, every game… Especially when drunk (and it’s so much better than Shaggy!) Cheers Jim…
Well they don’t, but you know… As connoisseurs of the good ship Alcopop Records will now, this city was not just built on rock n roll. Oh no! The full story is likely to appear as bonus content on an Alcopop CD in the future sometime, but our history is one of vices, of which gambling plays a plump, juicy part.
God knows whether we would have been able to fund the This Charm is Charmless EP by data.select.party had not Portsmouth beaten Charlton with a last gasp winner way back in September 06- (thanks Lomana Lua Lua) – and who knows where we might be now, if Snowy Morning had romped home in the National rather than heartbreakingly throwing it away at the end.
Still – I digress… What I’m really hear to tell thee about is this set of statistics from www.euro2008statistics.com which offer a pretty damn awesome insight into Euro 2008. Ignore the bookies – Portugal are gonna get bashed to hell, and Holland could just be the choice at 15’s. However, where the real money lies looks like it could be with Romania (available at 50-1 all over the place) who statistically have a 7% chance of lifting the silverware – much better than that of Italy.
Have a look below – and just for a minute imagine what winnings on a £1 e/w on Romania could buy you in the Alcopop shop…! Tasty. Oh, and I hope you enjoy the hideous animated .gif i’ve put at the bottom of this post… It’s so ‘welcome web user, you could earn 10k in just 3 minutes’ I just had to put it in…
UEFA EURO 2008
Team – Progress to Quarter Final – Progress to Semi Final – Progress to Final – Win
Germany – 83% – 51% – 32% – 17%
Spain – 79% – 42% – 24% – 14%
Netherlands – 55% – 33% – 18% – 10%
Czech Republic – 63% – 36% – 20% – 10%
France – 54% – 32% – 17% – 10%
Romania – 49% – 27% – 14% – 7%
Italy – 42% – 23% – 12% – 6%
Switzerland – 51% – 25% – 12% – 5%
Portugal – 51% – 25% – 11% – 5%
Croatia – 55% – 26% – 11% – 5%
Sweden – 45% – 17% – 7% – 3%
Greece – 43% – 15% – 6% – 2%
Turkey – 34% – 14% – 6% – 2%
Poland – 37% – 14% – 5% – 2%
Russia – 33% – 10% – 3% – 1%
Austria – 26% – 9% – 3% – 1%